Dear Mr. Lewis,

Thank you for submitting such interesting samples of your works to Opinion. You might imagine that as an editor of a university literary journal, I have academic obligations which make it impossible for me to elaborate on the reasons why I choose not to publish certain materials. Needless to say, time restrictions make it sacrilegious for me to write these reasons down in a presentable format.

It is not to flatter you that I chose to break my editorial habits this time.  First of all let me say that I am baffled by the fact that someone like you constitutes a part of our readership. Quite frankly, I believe the articles and literature that we publish require a certain amount of intelligence on the part of the reader. The single-mindedness of your chauvinistic, political and aesthetical manifestoes, not to mention your horrifying spelling mistakes, make me suspect you have probably never even looked at the covers of our journal. You might be a victim of a type of Poets Market,  the pricey publication for needy writers without imagination, initiative or a single clue on how literary endeavors are to be approached.

Unless you find it objectionable,  I will send your pieces to the editor of Harper’s Magazine, whom quite certainly will be willing to include an extract of them in their “Readings” section as an example of the ominous backwardness now so prevalent in this country.

Sincerely,

The Editor in Chief